Imagine trying to set up disability services at a comic-con!  If you read the post at http://dragoncon.livejournal.com/2957206.html (“Trouble with Disability Services?”)–the guy has some legitimate complaints, but it got me thinking.  Imagine some of the services!

“Excuse me, sir, but if your Klingon outfit impairs your ability to speak Klingon (but not English), that is not a disability.” (And then after a few minutes and a desk being overturned…) “Yes, and you sir, are also a P’tak!”

“I understand that you are not disabled in an alternate universe, but you are disabled in this one – and needed to request services in a timely manner.”

“No – tribbles are not considered service animals.”

“No – K9 is not a service animal.”

“No – ewoks are not a service animal.”

“If you are a go’auld then your sarcophagus is definitely an access need, so we will work to find a place for it.”

“For the staff training, let’s be sure to distinguish between hobbits, trolls, munchkins, dwarves, and little people in our brochures.  We don’t need a repeat of last year’s debacle!”

“I am sorry…I do not understand disability documentation in Elvish.  Do you have anything in English?”

“Yes, I understand the TARDIS in the Dr. Who exhibit is not wheelchair accessible.  We are working on that.”

“So if I understand you correctly, the metal in your breastplate is interfering with DragonSpeak and your ability to understand dragons speaking.”

“No, for the hundredth time, Geordi and Deanna don’t work here.”  (Sigh.)

“Attention all staff: we need to find the autistic Data who had a question about services – but comic-con personnel have already identified over 150 Datas who identify as autistic.  Any suggestions?”

–written by Wendy Harbour
Syracuse, NY
2012